It is just crap doing something that you hate with no choice. I suppose it is just difficult because I hate doco, I hate doing shit I hate.
But that isn’t just it. I have to keep doing it. I have the golden handcuffs, I can’t leave. It is not just me that I’m looking after. I am responsible for others. If I don’t push through then there will be others in my life that suffer. It is the feeling of being trapped and not having a choice I hate.
So smile boy, smile while doing the crap, because you have to, because you are the man responsible, you are the one who is going to be holding the shining torch for the others in your life to one day stand. And on that day it will have all been worth it. THEN you can quit and fly kites on the beach.
Be the man and keep holding that light.