Category Archives: Random

Drunk Ironing


Ironing is just shit at the best of times but after 4 beers and what’s known as “Epic Trance” smashing out at 11 into your ears; Ironing is awesome. You’re moving and grooving, that is how I roll.


Now that is the shit, Woooooooooooooooooooooo.

I’m so old. What a way to spend a Friday night 😛

Fluorescent Hell

I sit in an fluorescent lit cubical, the environment around me ranges from deathly quiet, to screaming matches and near punch ups. Everything feels so sterile, white and lit up that you feel dirty just sitting at your desk. My take away coffee cup in its black paper and plastic lid stands out on the highly polished desk and I find I have to hide it behind the dark grey phone so it doesn’t look like an American in a Hawaiian shirt in the middle of Afghanistan.

I plug my head phones in and put on some tunes, “We can make the world stop” plays. I sit back and look around. It seems like the world has been turned down, yet made more thrilling and exciting. The morbidly obese fat bloke and the morbidly obese fat chick that are in the cubical next to me who are trying to work together somehow seem hilarious in an extreme sports way as they fight over space to get to the keyboard. Their largeness which hangs over the edges of their oversized chairs clash in their battle for keyboard space supremacy.

The track changes and pumping 1 hour set of “Trance Effects (live sessions @ TBS Radio 22.12.2008)”. I feel shivers as I want to start an office chair race, a dual to demonstrate that I still exist in this world. Something that can make me feel alive instead of this lump of flesh whose sole purpose is to type at a keyboard while being slowly ground into the grave by ultra-white high energy photons emitted from the buzzing of the fluorescent lights and twin screens displaying the dull technical documents that I’m writing.

There is so much more to existence than this. This is bull shit. I should go surfing, rally driving, skydiving, motor gliding, or even a ride down a flight of stairs from the top of the building is a human sized bubble ball.

I see the coffee cup which still hides behind the phone and it reminds me that I must work; secretly telling me “4.2 cents a second”, that is what someone is paying for my dying ass. Stop your dreaming and get back to work it says with it un-emotional gaze. I am a whore and my pimp will give me enough to stop me from looking for the greener grass.

FU coffee cup

At least while the music plays, the world seems a little more colourful. I type on closer and closer towards my fluorescent grave. One day I will make a difference and do something that has meaning … one day.


Saying Dumb Things

Have you ever said something stupid, and the second you said it you realise that it was stupid? I seem to do it all the time.

I’ll just be talking about something random, and then … bleh… I’ve said something absolutely stupid. I’ll want to take it back. I’ll be thinking, “fuck fuck fuck, why did I say thiat?” “can i take those words back?”

The answer is because your brain is retarded and no you can’t take it back. Some times the words are hurtful and they will make another person sad, but you still can’t take back what you have said.

I’d like to think that you learn from these stuff ups, and that by feeling bad you learn from your mistakes and become a better person, so you don’t make them in the future. But there seems to be so many things to screw up on, so many that you could spend your whole life screwing up every aspect of every thing and still not make the same mistake again to implement the lesson that you have learnt.

I guress I’m just retarded.

I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you, i just often (too often) say shit with out properly thinking about the out come.


I still feel bad, I’m sorry.

Bacon Pie Burger

Sounds good, but how would you put it together?

Would you make the pie with bacon instead of pastry in a burger roll, or would it be a standard pie with a bacon filling.

I don’t know but I think it needs to exist and If you can make it, I want to hear about it.

  • Bacon is awesome
  • Pies are awesome; and
  • Burgers are awesome.


Not Happy

I’m not happy.

There is nothing wrong with me, I’m just not happy. I can’t tell you what’s wrong because there is nothing wrong. Some days you just feel shit and today is one of those days.

I get days like this when I’m around people who are way WAY smarter than me. This doesn’t happen often as the world is filled with idiots; but I just happen to work with some really clever people … Jerks.